Continuing the Passion and Possibilities Interview Series with a wonderful interview with Lorna Philip who is a Doula based in Birmingham. We discuss everything from what is a Doula and why you may choose to hire one, to how doulas can support you before during and after birth.
Watch the video or listen to the audio only version below the video. If you are limited for time use the notes underneath to skip to what most interests you.
Following 20+ years supporting mums, dads and children working in coordinating family health services, promoting and supporting breastfeeding, teaching infant massage, to name but a few of her previous roles, Lorna discovered her purpose and passion as a Doula
She supports all kinds of births and her heart particularly singswhen she supports women who are experiencing a VBAC ( vaginal birth after Caesaerean birth ) or who are creating positive births after a traumatic birth.
3.35 Defining a doula in a nutshell- a Doula is a lay person trained and experienced in birth offering practical and emotional care to the woman and her family.
4.16 We talk about what the role entails beyond ‘professional hand holding’ and how important these tasks are to the woman
6.00 We mention the research that shows benefits of a support person who is not a medic or a family member and discuss why- more objective and not emotionally tied to woman and situation.
7.28 why being a doula is not all about holding the babies cute though they are and what it is about instead.
8.55 Why it is not the mode of birth – vaginal versus caesarean for example that makes the birth special and the transition to motherhood smooth or traumatic. And how a doula supports a smoother transition to motherhood.
10.00 we talk about the miracle of birth and the role of a doula in influencing the calm trust atmosphere in the room
14.50 How to prepare for the postnatal period during pregnancy and tips to make sure you have enough support.
15.33 Dealing with resistance: I can’t afford a doula… Payment plans, gift vouchers and changing the mindset to give yourself what is priceless rather than pricey.
19.05 Mother burn out and how to avoid it
19.18 Who is a doula for- Hint if you are thinking its not for me its for x, y z, types of women you will be wrong.
20.15 Local support options:
Bethel Doula supporting vulnerable women with a free doula
And Cando-Doulas supporting women with learning difficulties.
For all nonlocal women there is likely other similar schemes in your area. If you would like a doula but don’t think you can afford one even with saving please ring a doula and ask what is available and what options exist in your area.
22.30 Addressing the results of the MBRRACE- UK (Mothers and babies reducing risk through audits and confidential enquiries) report 2018 which found Asian mothers twice as likely to die and black mothers 5 x as likely to die during childbirth than white women. We discuss the problem of viewing women as ‘other’ and the impact of true listening. With a plea to you watching to check inside to see if you are guilty of either fault so you can bring yourself gently back to open hearted listening to the human being in front of you
26.30 Brings us to cultural safety
28.40 The blind spot that assumes there is a level playing field that fuels defensive reactions when confronted by any women asking for more ( respect , time, etc) and in particular women of colour. We also talk of the importance of understanding the defensive reaction and moving beyond it back to the heart and humanity.
30.46 Takeaway wisdom - You don’t have to birth like they do on one born every minute! - or any other film or any other person.
32.19 Takeaway wisdom 2. Use your voice to insist on help. You matter and your voice matters. Take some time to enquire what you truly want and need and ask for it.
Find Lorna at Birmingham Doula where she offers Doula services including postnatal doula services, hypnobirthing and Mizan Therapy.
The Whos, Hows and Whys of creating a community of support around you as you create your best birth experience.
Back when I was first pregnant I was a fairly typical first time mother to be; anxious and excited in equal meassures yet simultaneiously overwhelmed with all the changes to my body and new information to absorb. I did pretty well, discovering hypnobirthing, and pregnancy yoga and utilising my skills as a therpaist to release fears and old cellular memories.
Still with the wisdom of hindsight I thought it could have been so much easier if I had known more what to even look for and include as self care and birth prepraration. Time is precious and I wasted plenty of it on fruitless, frustrating searches in googleland.
In a bid to help you avoid wasting those hours, I have gathered together 11 different birth professionals to chat and share their wisdom. It is my hope that you will feel inspired and confident to ask for what you need to create your best birth experience. I hope that listening to these passionate voices you will find your own voice and joy as you become a mother.
Full Interview List:
Week 3: Awen Clement. Sacred Celebrant
Week 5:( Coming Soon)
Week 6:( Coming Soon)
Week 7:( Coming Soon)
Week 8:( Coming Soon)
Week 9:( Coming Soon)
Week 10:( Coming Soon)
Week 11:( Coming Soon)
Today I welcome writer and law lecturer Dr Gulara Vincent to the BirthEssence Blog with a guest post about how completing unfinished business helped her transform her birth experience.
‘Unfinished business’ from the past can block your dreams. I learnt this lesson the hard-way through childbirth, and here’s how my journey began.
In November 2012, I was attending a Journey reunion in Birmingham. I was really into the Journey, a method of cellular healing developed by Brandon Bays, and these meetings gave me an opportunity to meet other people who knew this method too. We took turns to swap and give each other some free support. Each meeting had a practitioner who told us about their Journey path: what brought them here and how the Journey transformed their lives. As I sat on a chair listening to the speaker that day, I stroked my belly feeling slight movements of my baby. I was 18 weeks pregnant with a long-awaited baby. The speaker’s voice soothed me, and watching her face framed with long dark hair, I softened in response.
That speaker was Charlotte Kanyi.
I am not going to recount her story here because it’s hers to tell, but it touched me so much that I approached her during the break and started talking about her business. I had seen her business cards on the stalls during every re-union, and even took it home on one or two occasions, but never dared to speak to her before.
‘I have some anxiety around childbirth,’ I said. By then I’d been attending workshops in Stroud to do some ‘birth works’, a process which explored our own birth experience and also explained how birth impacts the child. It was in one of those workshops that the facilitator explained that women who have past sexual trauma may struggle giving birth naturally. The cells remember the invasion and may clamp up in response to the pain caused by a child trying to exit. To me, this was not the time to deal with past sexual trauma. My focus was on delivering my baby into the world, not dwelling on painful memories. It was better left untouched for now, I told myself, even though deep down I was still worried that past trauma can impact my chances of giving birth as naturally as possible.
‘I’d like to have a session before I give birth,’ I said to Charlotte tentatively.
‘If there’s anxiety, it’s best to clear it sooner than later. You don’t want to carry it throughout your pregnancy because the baby is aware of it too,’ she said.
Her words made sense, but I didn’t follow her advice on that day.
Soon enough though, life presented me with plenty more worries. I was classed as ‘high risk’ and a consultant at the Women’s Hospital saw me every two weeks. Each time, he looked for what was wrong. And of course, if you look hard enough, there’s always something to find.
‘Your baby’s head is quite big, and this is a big baby,’ the consultant said every time I met him. ‘You may need to deliver via C-section. And there seems to be too much liquid around the baby. We may need to pass tubes through his nose to make sure that his lungs are free and he can breathe properly.’
The idea of tubes being passed through the nose of my new-born baby was so distressing that I found Charlotte’s card and gave her a call. A few days later, I was sitting on a couch in her front room shaking uncontrollably as an avalanche of memories overwhelmed me. By the end of the session, I felt calmer and more at peace. Miraculously, the next time I saw the consultant, he said that the liquid levels around the baby were normal and there was no need for intervention.
I started seeing Charlotte regularly. Life kept throwing at me opportunities for
distress growth. I was severely traumatised by the intervention of midwives during the induction, and the emergency C-section left me reeling with disappointment. I cried for days after the birth, and all the stress and tension culminated in two painful episodes of mastitis. I worried about everything all the time. The more I worked with Charlotte, the lighter I felt.
A little over a year later, I was pregnant again. This time, I had no second thoughts about diving in at the deep end to clear any ‘unfinished business’ which could impact my pregnancy and delivery. We worked to clear my past sexual trauma; the trauma caused by my son’s birth; fears around speaking up and standing up for myself when I was at the Women’s Hospital – the list went on and on. I remember vividly the first time Charlotte suggested that I could refuse to follow medical advice and even have a homebirth. Horrified at the idea, I gawked at her ready to run for my life. It took one session to clear that fear, and I came to realise that a home birth was the best option for me. I hired a doula and the home birth team at the Women’s Hospital transformed my experience of the last pregnancy and childbirth – there were no invasive scans with consultants looking for faults. Instead, there was a team of gentle loving women who saw natural birth after C-section as absolutely normal and even desirable. I felt like I had a personal cheering squad and their love and support were healing and nourishing.
When the big day arrived and I went into labour on the due date, I had a birthing pool in my front room. The birth team came to support me and my husband was there to hold me in the water. My labour was beautiful, almost ecstatic, and although I ended up having another emergency C-section, the birth experience itself was at the opposite end of the spectrum to my son’s birth; I was calm, confident, supported and in control.
In short, I’m living testament that when we shed off our emotional baggage, our experiences transform. Childbirth is no exception.
Dr Gulara Vincent is a writer, university law lecturer and a Momentum Mentor for Writers. When not writing or teaching, she helps women writers to release their inner fears and emotional blocks so that they can have a successful writing career.