Charlotte Kanyi
Author Archives: Charlotte Kanyi

Karenna’s Home Birth Story of Tara

The pregnancy and birth of Tara is nothing short of a miracle.

At 45 years young and after a few early pregnancy losses along the way, I’d made peace our beautiful nine year old daughter Maya, would be an only child.

So in spring 2020 when I started feeling consistently nauseous I became concerned.

My inner hypochondriac wondered whether I had a serious illness.

I’d recently had a light period- and thought my nausea could be another sign of perimenopause, since my cycle had become irregular lately.

This led me down the rabbit hole of Dr Google, searching ‘does perimenopause make you nauseous?’

As the nausea increased over a few weeks I became more worried and decided to call my GP for some screening tests.

The day I’d intended to make the appointment, on a hunch I bought a pregnancy test.

I’d noticed a few other physical signs that I’d only ever felt with the pregnancy of Maya.

And besides, I rationalised, at least I could rule one thing out before the GP visit.

When I did the test I couldn’t believe it when I saw the two lines.

I instantly did a second test to double check. But it was true- I was pregnant.

What a miracle-surprise!

When I shared the news with Viv he was cautiously excited- three early pregnancy losses can have that effect…

We decided to keep it between the two of us and our midwife Janine O’Brien (Ibirth), for as long as we could.

And each day after that I became grateful for the nausea, knowing it was a good sign.

There were more surprises in store when we went for what we thought was our 12 week scan only to be told we were at least 14 weeks along- the light period I’d thought was the start of perimenopause was an implantation bleed!

Knowing there are no guarantees, we waited until we were 16 weeks along before we started sharing the news.

By this time the nausea had subsided and I was feeling great.

Most people were excited and pleased for us. Some shared their quiet concern about my age.

Others couldn’t hide their shock and fear when I answered their ‘where will you have the baby’ question with ‘at home’.

I was even told a few horror stories of over-40 births gone wrong and why hospital is the only place I should give birth (!).

Because I had enough of my own fears and concerns to overcome, Viv and I decided from then on we’d only inform those we’d be regularly seeing (and who we couldn’t hide the pregnancy from!).

Meanwhile I worked on my mental game- reading, researching, visualising, attending workshops with leaders like Rhea Dempsey, Min Mia and Jane Hardwicke-Collings plus curating our birth support team.

I worked on my physical game by continuing to teach and practice Japanese yoga combined with regular chiropractic and acupuncture sessions.

Feeling fantastic, I was so grateful my body could receive and grow a baby ‘at my age’.

Something I never forgot was how privileged I was to be able to consciously create my support team, which made such a difference to my level of care and self-belief.

I believe all birthing women deserve and should have government funded access to the same support and resources I did, as well as the option to homebirth if they’re healthy, low risk and willing.

It was only in the final month of the pregnancy that I paused my yoga practice- I felt more comfortable walking and I really enjoyed being out in nature.

At 37 weeks our midwife Janine organised a red thread ceremony to welcome in the baby.

Our doula, Kathryn Belle and birth photographer Anna Todd were there as well.

At this ceremony we shared our intentions and fears for the birth.

It was so comforting to hear Janine share she had no fears at all for me- she said she knew I’d put in the work, was physically strong and mentally ready.

I shared my only fear: that I wouldn’t believe in myself.

Then we burnt our fears and celebrated with chai and cake- it was the perfect blessingway- intimate and raw – just as I was hoping for my birth.

And so began the waiting and nesting game.

Ever since I’d learnt at Jane Hardwick-Collings’ The Shamanic Dimensions of Pregnancy workshop that babies are often born on full moons, new moons and in storms, I’d penned into the calendar the Super blood moon of May 26th as ‘Bubba’s birthday’. I had a strong sense she/he would arrive on this date.

You can imagine my excitement when, on May 25th at 10.30am, my waters broke.

I’d just arrived at Maya’s sports carnival and had briefly squatted to take some pressure off my back.

Without warning I felt a ‘pop’ sensation and my inner thighs became warm and wet.

I bolted to the bathrooms and also noticed the bloody show.

Discreetly I gave Maya the choice: she could stay at her carnival or come home with me.

I reassured her there were no waves yet so I didn’t think baby would come immediately.

She decided to stay so I evacuated the lively sports ground- grateful for the disguise of my dark coloured leggings and extra jacket around my waist.

On the way home I rang Viv at work but there was no answer.

Then I rang Janine and Kath, who gave me some tips and signs to be on the lookout for.

When I reached home I showered to freshen up, then lay outside in the sun while listening to a hypnobirthing track.

There were still no waves and I wondered whether this time tomorrow I’d have met my baby.

After a few calls and texts I was still unable to reach Viv- I started to worry what would happen if the waves started and I was all alone.

As if sensing my feelings, my cat Rana came and curled up next to my belly, something he never usually does.

It was so comforting to feel him purring and keeping me company- animals are so wise!

After what felt like ages (but was actually only about an hour and a half) Viv called me to let me know he was on his way- he’d left his phone in his bag at work and hadn’t heard my calls.

Finally I could relax and enjoy the sun with my cat cuddles.

When Viv arrived home we ate lunch, then he drove me to my routine acupuncture appointment with Sue Booth booked for 2pm.

Sue took my pulse and said my body was already primed for birthing action.

Almost as soon as the first needle went in I felt a light wave and could sense my baby was getting close.

It was a nurturing, nourishing session and when it ended Sue wished me the best with a knowing smile.

I felt regular, light waves on the drive home – enough to feel excited but not enough to need to drop everything and focus.

Once home I lay down for a nap and when I woke it was just getting dark.

The waves were still regular but not too intense- I put on the TENS machine so I could acclimatise to the different sensations.

Viv, Maya and I ate dinner together, lighting a candle to welcome in our new family member.

I put Maya to bed around 8.30pm, letting her know our doula, Kath would wake her up for the birth (we’d talked about it lots and Maya had said if it was a night labour she wanted to be left to sleep for the labour but woken for the birth)

The waves started to pick up around 9pm, where I needed to pause, move and breathe through them.

I was feeling a bit tired and considered trying to sleep- but I could tell by the waves I’d need to get up and move through each one so instead Viv and I listened to another hypnobirthing track.

After that we went outside and basked in the full moon light, taking a moment to pause and savour the moment- the moon was big, bright and close!

By now it was about 10.30pm and we decided we’d like our doula to come.

We called her and she asked to speak with me- I knew it was to gauge how far into my primal brain I’d gone.

We had a pretty standard conversation so she suggested she hold off coming over for about an hour to give the labour a chance to get established.

We said we’d stay in touch as I settled in to the waves.

I found it helpful being on my knees with Viv squeezing my hips through each surge.

I must have gone into the birthing zone around this time because what happened after that is a bit of a hazy blur in terms of time.

I remember noticing our doula arrive and hearing her say she’d called our midwife and birth photographer and they were on their way.

Meanwhile I stayed mostly on all fours, burying my face into a nest of pillows with each wave as Viv squeezed my hips.

I felt fully present, safe and trusting in my body and baby.

Having Viv by my side with each wave made all the difference.

At one point during a big surge my other cat Zen gently rubbed against me- I felt so held and supported- not only by my cats but by Viv and all my ancestors.

I moved into a phase where I felt very irritated.

Irritated at the discomfort in my body and the ‘slowness’ of the endorphins to kick in; irritated about the rustlings around me (my support team filling the pool); irritated at feeling abandoned when Viv wasn’t with me for one or two waves (I learned afterwards there was a ‘complication’ with the hose for the birthpool and he was desperately trying to help get it filled!); irritated my doula couldn’t read my mind and offer me my labouraid drink and specific essential oils at the precise moment I wanted them;-) (she was also helping with the pool debacle…)

Wise words from my friend and spiritual teacher Yantra came to me: ‘it’s not a choice between irritation or peace. Let the irritation be the doorway to peace’.

Letting the irritation be, I doubled down on my breathing and upped the setting on my TENS, which all seemed to help enormously.

Although I didn’t realise it at the time, I must have been getting close to transition because soon after that Janine gently suggested I get in the birthing pool.

‘Already?’ I thought to myself- remembering our birthing plan was that I’d ‘save up’ getting into the pool until the end and the birth was close.

I felt a combination of surprise we were at pool time, relief everything was still feeling ‘bearable’ and denial my baby would be coming soon. I had no idea was time it was – I learned later it was just after 2am.

I reluctantly removed the TENS machine –my new best friend- and slipped into the bath.

The warm water felt so soothing and warm.

From there it felt like a switch was flicked and things intensified very quickly.

I felt an uncontrollable pushing sensation and the waves started coming on thick and fast.

My breath become shorter and I started vocalising involuntarily.

I longed for the ‘rest and be grateful’ phase I’d read can happen between transition and second phase…

The pushing feeling intensified and felt overwhelming to the point where I cried out ‘help!!’.

While I clung to Viv for dear life, Janine reassured me I’d be meeting my baby soon and Kath suggested sending my breath down to the baby.

Despite the intensity I felt safe, present and connected to my baby.

I asked how she/he would like to be born and sensed it was the position I was in–on my knees, arms around Viv and legs apart.

An extra strong pushing surge rippled through my body- and with a few more breathes the head emerged, soon followed by the body ejecting. It was 2.54am.

I was sure I’d been torn from head to toe (I didn’t tear at all!) but I didn’t care.

I’d birthed my baby!

In a split second Janine whooshed baby and cord out from between my legs and I was holding my baby in my arms.

Words can never do justice to the feeling of holding your baby for the first time but I’ll try; it was a mixture of extreme joy, pride, relief, thankfulness and pure ecstasy all at once.

I held her up and Maya proudly announced she was a girl. A little sister!

After cuddle time in the bath I was helped to the couch where she latched on to my nipple like a seasoned pro and soon after I birthed the placenta.

The soft, jelly feeling of the placenta coming out felt so relieving and soothing.

Maya immediately jumped into her big sister role and was keen to decide on a name- our favourite two girl names were Aurora and Tara.

Kath mentioned some friends of hers had recently named their little girl Aurora and she was being called Rory for short.

We’re not really nickname people so that helped us decide.

Welcome to the world Tara!

We all celebrated with homemade fruit slice and bliss balls.

Soon afterwards the birth team tucked us up in bed and we were ready for our moon cycle birth bubble and gentle start as a family of four.

Karenna's Bio

Karenna Reidy is wife to Viv and mother to Maya (10 years) and Tara (2 months), living on Cammerygal Country in Sydney. She is a high school teacher and Japanese yoga CEO/instructor where she runs her own outdoor boutique yoga studio and offers online courses.  Karenna’s a fan of Aware Parenting and the Montessori approach. She is passionate about family, Eastern culture and philosophies of health, essential oils, piano, nature immersion, books, seasonal living and soulful conversations.

Physiological Birth : Interview with Kemi Johnson – Birthkeeper

Kemi is passionate about physiological birth and works tirelessly to support pregnant women and people to achieve the birth they want minus the medicalisation. Here we talk about how important this is and the magic of believing in and planning for a truly physiological birth.

Kemi's Bio

My reason for being is family and childbirth. I am a birthkeeper, birth educator and birth activist who is passionate about physiological birth.  My own births have taken decades for me to heal from and I want better for parents and their little ones. I am currently in Tanzania working internation ally online and enjoying grandson cuddles in my time off.

Find out about my Birth Power Hours and other support at my linktree here. follow me on instagram

Time Stamps:

Coming Soon...

Homeopathy for Fertility, Pregnancy and Birth; Interview with Sapna Matharu

Sapna shares how Homeopathic remedies can harness the incredible healing power of our bodies for wellness at all stages of our journey to motherhood, including treating challenging conditions in pregnancy such as PGP ( pelvic girdle pain).

Sapna's Bio:

I found homeopathy through the birth of my first child. Since embarking on this lifelong journey, I have learnt so much about how we end up with dis-ease. More importantly, I have discovered that we all possess a powerful healing ability within ourselves. I have witnessed the incredible power of homeopathy as a catalyst to unblock this healing ability at all stages of life. I believe that with the right start, we can thrive physically, mentally, and emotionally as human beings. It begins at conception – preparing yourself to grow a human means that you give it the best start in life. This is what drives my desire to help people with fertility, during pregnancy and with the birth of their babies. I am a homeopath and an educator.

You can find Sapna at her website, The Wild Homeopath where you can download a free guide to homeopathy in pregnancy to get you started. Connect with her on instagram and facebook

Time Stamps:

2.20 What is homeopathy? A holistic treatment that looks for the root cause. Discussing the mindset shift that the body has its own intelligence and is seeking homeostasis.

7.54 A personal example from Sapna’s third pregnancy of homeopathy in action supporting emotional release and balance after the common situation of pressure to induce.

11.00 Intergenerational healing of a gentle birth.

13.05 Looking at how we have moved away from trusting birth and a pathway to getting our power back.

21.20 When to start preparing for birth and how training your mindset for healing that will follow through in pregnancy and as a mother.

27.15 Building up a picture of your condition and matching it to the remedy.

39.00 Go to remedy tips for common conditions – including Aesculus for Pelvic girdle pain remedies.

The link between nausea and the spleen and looking to the root cause of the nausea to treat it as well as the vomiting itself.

50.00 Treating in labour – The power of quiet observation, treating exhaustion and avoiding transfers in home birth.

53.00 We can learn from the children who often pick their own remedy instinctively.

Letting your soul catch up in the fast paced challenging world of today.

Stop the Train, I want to get off!

Anyone else been feeling like this of late, or any time over the last year really?

I’ve had this feeling a number of times Usually a final small thing, the proverbial straw that broke the camels back comes along and breaks me. It seems there is just too much change, too fast and each time I think things are calming down something else happens.

This year has been tough on so many and perhaps all of us in one way or another. For some it is complete overwhelm, home schooling children whilst working from home and perhaps with a precarious or reduced family income, whilst recovering from Covid, for others it is total isolation and removal of all their usual support system. For many of us it has been both simultaneously.

Alongside coping with our various personal situations we are all feeling the collective grief, fear and emotional states. There is so much grief over the loss of all we thought certain and steady, grief for lost loved ones and lost loved activities, fear of death and illness and of more changes and an uncertain future.  There are concerns over moves to a more authoritarian state, polarised opinions and emotions running high. The planet is noisy and everything is shifting fast. 

It is no wonder we sometimes wish we could just get the train to stop, just for a little while, a little relief.

Last week I found myself at breaking point again, nothing different really, perhaps a child saying no he sees no reason to tie his laces or come for dinner. Something small. But I found myself yelling internally STOP, enough.  I felt overwhelmed with too many changes too fast, too much information to process and too many things to do.  You may well recognise the scene or something similar, where three children simultaneously yelling for different reasons and yanking at your clothes whilst the door bell rings and the phone also rings and you know there is something else you need to do before a certain time and you can’t hear yourself think and dinner is burning too.

So if you recognise something of your own situation in this description please read on.

First, I’d like to tell you a story I heard years ago and have always remembered (no idea who to attribute the story to if you know do drop me a line)

The basic gist I remember goes like this:

A group of intrepid mountaineers have planned a trip. They are in the Himalayas and have hired a team of Sherpas to carry their equipment. They have a schedule. They are happy they are making good progress against their timetable. They are making such good time they find themselves two days ahead of schedule and are celebrating the extra time they have. They are looking forwards to their main climb which is still some days away across country. The sun is shining, they are tired but energised and in good spirits.
Then the next morning their Sherpas sit down and refuse to move. Until now they have cheerfully followed the mountaineers schedule.  But now nothing can persuade them to move another step. Their reason: They have walked too far, too fast. Now their souls need to catch up. They will wait in this spot until they feel their soul has caught up.

I can picture the surprise and consternation of the Western mountaineers faced with a different mentality and beliefs to their own and I can also feel the truth in what the Sherpas told them.

And here is how that showed up for me, and what this has to do with our current situation and healing birth trauma.

When the overwhelm descended last week I booked a session with a colleague.  I opened into the energy of wanting the train to stop so I could get off back and back to its origin. This was not the first time I had felt like this and the original pain was only being triggered by similarities in our current situation to the original situation.  I found myself back as a new born baby. A sensitive empathetic baby who was overwhelmed with the noise and everyday activity of this new world she was born into. The birth had been a big experience for her. The first big transition of her life, where everything was changing and she had no control over her environment and no idea what was going to happen next. Bright lights, talking-  no longer muffled-  from many different, unfamiliar voices, no rhythmic pulsing of her mother’s heart, no comforting feel of the umbilical cord and placenta which is all she had known. The strange sensation of the space around her. It was all just too much at once. Even one of those things would have been a major experience to process.

I went back just a little to when I was half in and half out of my mother. To the first moment when I kind of knew what was about to happen and I was screaming for more time.  It was happening too fast and was too much to cope with. I wasn’t ready, I needed time.  Time for my soul to catch up.

In this healing process I was able to ask for this.  It was the most curious feeling. Time literally stopped. As if I had taken a photograph of the moment and then entered and become the photograph.  Yet I was alive and experiencing myself not in this world in a space of stillness and silence. The pause that I had needed. I stayed there and let myself feel supported by the spirit world as my soul caught up and poured itself into my body. I felt my body and soul gradually relax. Time out from the fast and furious pace I had been experiencing in the powerful energy that is birth.

After a few timeless minutes,  and if you have given birth and experienced the way time can go all kooky then you know what that feels like, I was then ready. The image shifted and the baby me was born, this time she was able to cope with the noise and bright lights. She had the resilience and presence she needed.  She had something I cannot put into words.  A sense of peace and rightness with where she was and what was happening no matter how challenging. The knowledge that she would get through this and it would be ok even if she couldn’t see how or know what would happen. I trusted this feeling and this knowledge.

This was integrated all the way up to the present day where I am still working my way  through life with Covid restrictions, my business, my family, my dreams, and all of life ahead but once more with peace in my heart, a greater sense of trust in life that everything is working out well, and feeling supported in that.  It makes all the difference especially in these challenging times.

If this story speaks to you, I suggest first asking your body and your soul if they need time out and time to catch up and if yes plan it into your schedule. Plan some time to do nothing very much, listen to the birds, rest in nature or in your bath tub.

If you would like to go deeper and explore how your birth experience is impacting on your present day life then please message me to see how I might support you.  I offer 121 healing and support via zoom.

Newborn and Maternity Photography: Interview with Michelle White

Michelle's Bio

Michelle White Photography is a multi-award winning studio based in Birmingham (B24) specialising in newborn and maternity photography.

  I know that the first few weeks of your baby’s life are unique, magical and a life changing time. I aim to capture every special moment from your baby bump right through to the tiny wrinkles and perfect little smiles – so you can keep them forever. 

My background in Fine Art Photography helps me produce timeless pieces of Artwork that you, your family and future generations can all enjoy.

Contact me here:

Pilates for pregnancy and new mums : Interview With Sophie Jeffries

Sophie's  supports your body through the changes that motherhood brings with a gentle approach that helps you befriend your body with kindness and reverence.  

Sophie has taken her classes online and has both a free introductory course and month long paid course for mums to be and new mothers Check them out here

Sophie's Bio

Sophie is a qualified postpartum doula, pilates instructor, shiatsu therapist, and mother of two young children. She is passionate about supporting women and their bodies throughout the birthing years and is especially keen on providing nurturing bodywork and restorative movement to help women befriend and restore their mama body with kindness and respect. Sophie teaches mother centred pilates in Melbourne and online, and attends women in their home after the birth of their beautiful baby as a postpartum doula and shiatsu therapist.
Find out more on her website Bearing Wonder here and find the latest online classes at her facebook page here You can also purchase her book Nurture Her, A post partum body recovery planner 

Is your Vision Clear for your Confident Birth?

Photo by Josh Cea on Unsplash

Yesterday I tried to offer the cashier in Tesco swimming goggles instead of the club card.

Twice.

In ten minutes.

Maybe she understood what it can be like shopping with a toddler and very full pockets of everything that I may need or definitely don't need but have been given for the last month. I have big pockets.

But it got me thinking about lenses and the work I do. I was thinking about how we all want to see clearly. That sometimes our vision of the world is impaired by the goggles we have on that we have had on so long we forget we even have them on. Perhaps they are a bit cracked or like my children's goggles scratched, leak a bit with a  tendency to steam up easily.

You definitely can't see properly looking through goggles like that. But it's better than the chlorine in the water hurting my eyes. At least while I am in the swimming pool.

But do I need them in the supermarket? And to pay for my groceries?

Obviously not. The analogy for me is how we see life. It's probably obvious before I even explain.

But here goes anyway. If we have a childhood event, long ago that was particularly strong. It affects us strongly. We start to believe something about the world. It has changed how we see, show up and act in the world. We get creative, make strategies to cope and deal with the new information and life goes on.  Over time we forget.

But the once clean lens that we came in with to see the world has got a smudge on it. Enough times of coming up against it in life and it gets scratched even broken.

We begin to believe the world is unfriendly. That we are no good and that maybe it is us who are broken.

We shut down, pull away from the world, stop dreaming.

Has this happened to you? Are you playing smaller than you could? In birth or in life?

Sometimes these memories are so ancient that we don't have any conscious memory at all. Our own birth into the world is the big one.

Our huge first life transition that has impacted each and every one of us profoundly even though few of us remember consciously.

For many of us in the West this would have been a tough, challenging time. Today about 30% of women report some trauma in the birth of their children. If you as a mother are experiencing it so is your child.

This is at the core of the work I do at BirthEssence.

Right now I am focusing a lot of energy on my Birth Blueprint Reading and Healing sessions for women. Where I look at what your own birth reveals about your soul's journey and work to heal any damaged lenses , re-imprinting the patterns that were laid down in your own birth experience so that you can show up fully , firing on all cylinders no longer holding back on your dreams in life,

Interested? Prices start from £60 Email me at charlotte:birthessence.co.uk for more details.


Photo by Josh Cea on Unsplash

Magnify your dreams in 2020. What links lighting illicit fires as a child and finding the courage to claim your dreams?

This New Year is galloping ahead already. First week of school nearly gone, and I am still setting intentions for the year ahead. It promises to be an interesting year and possibly a revolutionary transformative year for many. One in which I feel the call to really break free of any lingering conditioning that keeps me small or silent.

I’m on the path, I have no idea where it is leading but I’m taking steps and the guidance and insights are already nudging me along. Like Joel Youngs mini traning series -  Secrets To Rocking Your 2020 Intentions (So They Actually Have An Impact & Get You What You Want)on his Be a brilliant human podcast, In the first part of the 4 part training Joel shares a story of him as a young boy lighting dry grass with a magnifying glass to illustrate how setting and manifesting intentions works. In part two the theme is on acknowledging the wholeness of you to achieve your unique focus and he revisits fire story again. As I listened for the second time I was struck with my own memory of me at a similar age trying to set paper alight.

My story is slightly different as I stopped before I succeeded.

As I became that girl again for a few moments and felt into why she stopped and what she had really wanted I saw how this was an ongoing pattern that had repeated subtly throughout my life and was impacting my success in many areas.

The young girl Charlotte was totally fascinated and wanted to make a proper fire. But she got scared as the paper turned black and the smoke started to rise. She hurriedly stopped, with a furtive glance over her shoulder to check if anyone was watching. She was scared of getting in trouble. She could see all too clearly the scene if she was discovered and the telling off that would follow.  Secretly, she wanting to be more wild than this.  She had fantasies of being a wild bush woman.  But she was too scared of starting something that she couldn’t control and got too big for her and  then she really would be in trouble.

No matter the burning inferno scenario was so unlikely in England on a green grassy lawn, she stopped, but reluctantly, regretfully.  It was a bind being such a good girl sometimes. 

As I zoomed back out to the present day I was painfully aware of all the times in my life I have stopped short before putting the full idea or dream into action. Keeping small and hidden and then feeling bad inside and settling for the hit approval gave me instead of fulfilment.

The good news is that this is no longer my story. I has lingered way too long and yet it’s definitely on it’s way out.  Last year I found myself stepping up in new ways that were not small and hidden. I found myself running a Birth Summit on Finding your Confidence to birth the way you want and not the way you are settling for.   This is exactly the learning that I have been putting into practice in my own life in the way that we teach what we are ourselves learning.   Despite any inner doubter that would question my own authority as a relative unknown birthworker I contacted those whose message I loved and respected and overwhelmingly they said yes with enthusiasm and the Summit was created with 27 interviews and 5 classes over the month of November last year. You can now catch up here if you missed it.  There is such a wealth of information from some amazing women and I highly recommend you watching if you feel the pull and have a habit of holding back on the fullness of your dreams through fear.

Back to the fire story. I zoomed back down to me as a young girl then carried backwards every younger. I see myself hesitant, shy, living in my secret inner world where I am more confident and outgoing. I trace back further. To myself as a baby being born.

I am familiar with my experience of  being born even though I have no conscious memory in ordinary waking daily life. From time spent healing the way I was born. I notice the pattern was there in my energy field and got activated and concretised during birth.

As I was in the process of being born, I felt overwhelmed. Life was too big, loud and different. I was not sure I was ready and I hesitated.  But things were taken out of my control and I was helped out by the doctor. I felt small, helpless and daunted.  I felt that I would have to be more secretive  and hide what I wanted.   Not the best way to get what you want I think now. 

I continue backwards out of the womb and reconnect to a different energy. A larger essence that is also me.  I come back in. Now it is different. Now I feel joy. I am delighted by life even in its bigness and my relative smallness. I feel love for the small me. I see and experience the same birth story as before but I can also hold in my field the delight of life and it changes everything. My DNA is different. My feelings towards myself and my capabilities are transformed. I carry this expanded awareness forwards through my life. I feel my own wholeness that is present even as life’s challenges hit me. I can tap into the delight of being alive and I am not holding back anymore. This awareness changes the programming in my cells and it opens up the possibilities in my life right here and now.

This is the energy I am starting 2020 with.  And it is this kind of open field freedom energy possibility that I want you to start 2020 with too. Our planet and our children certainly need us to step up into the wholeness of our being and take action right now.

To support you in this I am offering my BirthBlueprint Reading and Healing Sessions at a super introductory offer price.  .   These sessions look at the map of your essential wholeness that is uniquely you revealed by your own birth story. They comprise an intuitive reading based on the facts of your birth and a healing session that will address the wounds and unhelpful programming you may have suffered during birth.

This is amazing transformative work. Healing your own birth experience is often the missing link for you when you are pregnant. If you are scared, you don’t really know why and  hypnobirthing is not touching the sides then healing your birth story may be the missing link you are searching for.   This work is also the key to reconnecting to your inner wholeness and passion for life that will fire you up to make a difference in 2020. Now is the time to step up bold and brave and put into action all those secret dreams you have been holding back on.

If this sounds interesting to you drop me a message at charlotte@birthessence.co.uk or comment below and I will send you all the details.

In the mean time Happy New Year and here’s to an amazing revolutionary 2020.

 Photo by Saffu on Unsplash

Nicola Goodall – Birth Confidence Summit

Links to the books mentioned in the interview and Nicola's book. Scroll for Bio and Time Stamps.

Nicola Goodall Bio

Nicola has been involved in childbirth for over 20 years. She is a founding member of the Scottish Doula Network, the main facilitator for the Mindful Doulas training programme, and founder of the Red Tent Doulas training initiative 

Nicola is also the director of the Wysewomen workshops - a series of learning circles aimed at women sharing with women through storytelling, publications and healthy social media.

Nicola published her first book in 2019 - 10 Oils: Aromatherapy Oils for the Childbearing Year.

Nicola is a very direct and honest jewel of information who never ceases to inspire others to be the change they wish to see in the world.

You can watch also watch her TedX talk on reframing Birth.

Time Stamps

Doulaing is in her blood and Nicola has many Grandmothers from different ancestries inside.

4.31 Helping bring back indigenous knowledge for example you can call in the 4 directions in the Native American way but there is also a Gallic Way.

6.58 There are 14 generations of grandmothers inside you and knowlege may come through meditation.

9.25 Intuition and knowledge is strong in the high hormonal state that is pregnancy and menopause.

12.07  Explaining the link between grief, death and ceremonies around the world to mark the rite of passage to mother.   Around the world these ceremonies all include some form of cleansing, some form of annointing and blessing and some form of wrapping.

15.53 These ceremonies set you up for motherhood and in some cases can help physical conditions such as prolapse even though you are not working directly on the physical.

18.16 Don't be pressured to look a certain way. Take your heels off is  a good small step to help comfort in pregnancy.

20.45 Are we making ourselves sick to appear a certain way.  Lots of education needed as we are trained  to obey men in a uniform..

Rewilding is a good starting point. Go out and find a park look at the sky, feel the ancient trees.

26.29 Handing over to something bigger. Nicola's faith that helped her have no fear. The power of surrender.

31.15 The power of prayer and a supportive community.

34.10 How Nicola was supported by her faith and community when the worry about a third baby being difficult was put in her mind.

36.05 There is an understandable backlash to religious faith in the UK but as the colonisers we are the minority not to have strong faith but we tend to think everyone should be like us and this is not correct. Don't be exclusionary.


40.30 Still today people go to places in secret to pray when pregnant such as holy wells.  These places have a strong energy and lot of history. Book: The Power of Ritual by Robbie Davis-Floyd.

There is power in gathering and in making your own ritual

44.43 Choose to use different language as a step towards  feeling positive about birth.

47.15 We need to be comforable with death as it is a part of life.

50.15 If you are scared of death put the elephant on the table and talk about it.  Can you find a care provider who is not scared of you dying?

52.55 Midwives would traditionally have also attended the deaths. Shivasna pose in yoga is the corpse pose. You are meant to contemplate death whilst in that pose.

54.00 Nicola's vision. Nicola would like to see birth in the family and community again and wonders how we start a revolution?

58 28 We need to do emotional work and not just focus on the physical. Sometimes the baby is not coming and there is no obvious phyiscal reason.  The true art of midwifery includes asking how someone is.

Art of midwifery is all contained in a look- quote from indigenous midwife. Love is one of the most important parts of taking care of women. The example in Cape town of how a little love and care can go a long way and be reflected in outcomes.

1 hr 09 Get the wild thing going.  Wrap up warm and get outside.

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