‘Look’, my son cries, ‘a rainbow’. We stop and gaze in wonder at the vivid colours leaping across the sky towards their fabled pot of gold that promises new beginnings and richness beyond imagining. My son is delighted that it appears to start just behind our road somewhere. I am delighted by his innocence, joy and enthusiasm. I am reminded that I need not chase after an ephemeral, always just out of reach, external source of riches. My son’s excitement and the rainbow’s own glory prompt me to stop and savour the riches I am already living. Right here, right now my own pot of gold laughs with me at the amazing colours of life unfolding before our eyes.

As if a joyful reminder to notice the richness already surrounding me, and a promise of hope and renewal weren’t enough, today the rainbow also directed me towards the power of forgiveness via my much loved deck of Mother’s Wisdom Cards. I pulled the Rainbow card and was invited to reflect on forgiveness. I remembered times I had forgiven a person or event that was weighing on my heart. the resultant joy and lightness causes me to soar to heights on a par with the rainbow’s dizzy display of colour.

As I reflected a strong memory surfaced of one of the most memorable and significant times I have felt forgiveness. The back story shows me at a time in my life when I was single and had just tried, luckily unsuccessfully, to have a relationship with a highly unsuitable man. He did not treat me well and still I chased. My huge grief at the realisation that this was not going to be the relationship I wanted it to be was totally out of proportion to the handful of times I had met him before he ran away and refused all contact.   Every attempt at real communication felt catastrophically wrong and painful. I became angry and bitter at the way I had been treated and despite previous attempts to find closure had not managed to let go of the story. Even I could tell I was obsessing over something that from the outside looked relatively minor. Why did it feel so big to me?

So I sought support from a friend and colleague in the form of a Journey Process.* During my process I was transported back to what appeared to be a past life memory of my execution. I was about to be beheaded by someone I knew from my village and as I looked into his eyes I recognised him to be this man from my present life who’d mysteriously run straight out of my life. I felt such a strong connection to this person and felt that they had been important to me in this life yet here they were about to execute me. His eyes were full of guilt and anguish. I continued to gaze at him and consciously opened into his heart and asked to be shown how it was for him. I was blasted into such a powerful shock and grief with the words ‘I am sorry, please forgive me’ repeated over and over and over again.

I felt our village was being ransacked and women were being targeted and punished, particularly healers or medicine women and there was a kind of civil war happening with villagers being pitted against each other in cruel twist. He was utterly horrified at what he was being forced to do. but although he did not want to kill me, in that moment, at that time he had no choice.

As I felt this I really had no choice either. I forgave him completely. Or more accurately forgiveness flooded my heart and being as I felt the totality of the situation and the enormity of his grief and regret. He had been punished enough. I let go of my blame, anger and betrayal. I allowed love to flow through me again. I felt whole and healed.

As I brought this energy through to the present day me I felt only compassion for my would be suitor and instead of the ranting email I had planned I found the only words in my mind and heart were ‘I love you,  please forgive me and I let you go now.’

I never saw or spoke to him again. These words were expressed only in this process. But I have no doubt that they set us both free. As I let him go, both in the past and in the present, I let go too. I felt relief and joy. I felt as if I was flying  across the sky like the rainbow propelled by my forgiveness into a pot of golden freedom. I didn’t need to chase it. The gold was pouring into and from my heart as love replaced the heavy weight that unbeknownst to me I had been carrying for far longer than the few months I had known this person.

Memories like these concerning what I term ‘witch hunt mentality’ seem to be occurring quite commonly at this time. Whole groups of women are releasing this stored collective consciousness from our past. It is time for women to step out of the shadow of these previous eras when to survive it was necessary to hide our talents and the ways of feminine healing and leading. It is time to forgive and set aside the past and to create wholeness. A wholeness where the feminine and masculine energies within each of us live in balance and unity. A wholeness where love and forgiveness shine forth like the rainbow leading us to the gold within.

This deep spontaneous forgiveness that came with understanding and emotional release set me free, set both of us free, and it is this kind of work that is setting a whole generation free. I am amazed by what I discover when I enquire within, how much can be imprinted and stored from traumatic events and equally how much can be released. We are creating space for new lives, new beginnings. A space that is much needed.

In this case, new beginnings spilled their colours quickly onto the canvas of my life. Shortly afterwards I met my amazing husband and my life took on a wonderful new direction.

And so I leave you with the reflection, Where in your life is forgiveness needed? What rainbows would brighten your sky brighten your sky when you forgive?

For more information about The Journey  pioneered by Brandon Bays and how it can help you find freedom and forgiveness please click here.*  For a 3 free guided visualizations created by Brandon Bays for healing and relaxation please click here* and for the free e-book The Journey click here *

Follow the link to learn more about and buy Mother’s Wisdom Deck: A 52-Card Inspiration Deck with Guidebook (Book & Cards)*

If you feel like you may benefit from some forgiveness work check out my 1:1 page to see what I offer or call me to chat about how I can help you.

*These are affiliate links.

I love being pregnant, I love the feeling of the growing child in my belly.  I felt well and strong both times and yet I also felt the most vulnerable I have ever felt in my life. In addition to clearing out unhelpful beliefs at ever deeper levels  I steadied myself with regular grounding practices that felt essential to my survival and wellbeing. Survival sounds dramatic but truthfully there were  moments during my second pregnancy when I was floundering in panic so strong I struggled to catch my breath and I could feel my blood pounding on the inside of my head. Times when I was desperately reaching out for anything familiar to hold onto. In those times the wisdom of the earth and its slower pace calmed my racing pulse and soothed my worries. I wish I had developed a regular practice much earlier than I did, and reminded myself more often when I forgot.

In this post I share with you four of the basic principles I now bear in mind when wishing to ground myself and five ideas for grounding that calmed and supported me and that I continue to practice and enjoy daily even though the extreme vulnerability I felt in pregnancy is no longer with me.

Principal 1-Use the Power of Intent

Never underestimate the power of intention. Much has been written about the manifesting power of our thoughts and our outer reality mirroring our inner world. We hear this so often we can sometimes overlook the simplicity and efficacy of the principle. Check in with your intention as you choose an activity and trust that choice. State your intention openly out loud. Believe in it. Then throw caution to the wind and have some fun.

Principal 2-Uncover the Hidden gifts of  Resistance

Resistance can show up in so many ways and the most common for me are telling myself I have no time, and then forgetting when I do make time. It is so easy for me to say, ‘oh I can’t do that I have to look after my children.’  Children who delight in making up games involving mud, stones and sticks and who would love any excuse to roll around in the dirt under the guise of grounding.

My invitation is to use your resistance as a springboard of inspiration and challenge your habitual perspectives. Look at what you are saying is not possible and turn it on its head. Invent a grounding game for your children and join in. Ask them to come up with new ways to connect to the Earth. If you do not have children, invite your inner child to play instead and step back in time to an age of wonder and innocence and get fascinated with the world at your feet.   A different perspective can do wonders for your mood. Lie on the earth and imagine the world from the perspective of an ant or a ladybird. See what insights come your way.

Principal 3-Seize the opportunity

Don’t wait for that ideal time as it doesn’t exist. I am sure you have heard that before. I am not sure my toddler son has though, but he doesn’t waste his time questioning if the time is right or if he has time and embodies the principle quite naturally. The other day I observed him unwittingly do a full sun salutation in the middle of the supermarket floor. I thought he should get back in the trolley so I could zoom around the supermarket and get out of what I felt to be an oppressive atmosphere and get back into the daylight as quick as possible. He had other ideas and was ignoring me. Totally. He did downward dog, cobra, some impressive rolling moves, cat pose and a few I have forgotten before returning to downward dog. He finished with Shavasana and a big grin.

Just to be clear I have not done yoga with him as the few times I tried he sat on my head and bounced. Yanked my clothes down shouting milk. Laughed uproariously, ran over me, lay down under me and kicked, jumped on my knees singing Zoom Zoom. Yet with the natural wisdom of children he was engagingly reminding me to seize any opportunity, get creative and try something new.

Although I think I will all the same steer clear of the supermarket aisle in favour of the park or garden for an impromptu Yoga session.

4-Tap into the Original Energy within.

This is an idea that came to me courtesy not of some esoteric traditional teaching per se but in the form of the Terry Pratchett Discworld Series and specifically via the youngest witch Magrat*¹ . Faced with a locked door and no magical powers she was stuck. Thinking creatively and inventively and recalling advice from her teachers she placed her hands on the wooden door and invited the door to remember the time it was a tree. It sprang into life and started to grow leaves and branches and failed to remain a locked door. She was able to get in and do what she needed to do and I am inspired to use what I have and follow it back to its Source.   Or in the words of Thich Nhat hanh describing  mindfulness practice ‘ So the practice consists of looking deeply into the ground of consciousness to identify the seeds that are there.’*² When he looks deeply into the nature of a flower  he sees in addition to the petals and colour of the flower, all the non flower elements that were essential on its path to manifesting as a flower including the rain, soil and sun and the gardener.  I use this idea when I can’t physically get out in nature to open a pathway of connection using whatever objects are to hand.

So bearing these simple principles in mind when in need of grounding I like to:

1-Go Barefoot in Nature 

And cultivate a few flowers of my own.

We do like our shoes, to protect our feet, to look pretty. We are also generally fans of pavements, and spend a lot of time indoors on carpets and artificial floors. And we mostly live in cities. All of which is far removed from our evolutionary origins.

This separation from the natural world with a fast paced, gadget happy substitute can cause considerable stress to our system. Whereas the background electromagnetic frequency of the Earth generally vibrates at the low frequency of 7.8HZ which corresponds to the Alpha spectrum of human brain waves or the state of consciousness we enter when in deep meditation.  Studies on urban populations have shown measurable benefits with even small amounts of time spent in green places such as parks as it supports us to harmonize our vibration with that of the Earth.

So I invite you to get up, get out and get your shoes off! Even if it is just for a few moments. A relatively short period of time may be enough to slow you down and bring you back into harmony with the earth.

Go for a short walk with intention. Stand for a few minutes in your garden.  Choose your patch of earth and luxuriate in the sensations available to your naked feet. Is the ground rough, smooth, cold, hot, soft, level, bumpy? Savour the different textures and flavours of the ground as you meet with the earth through your feet. Sense the energy and wonder about the history of the ground you are touching. Feel the ground touch you back wondering about you, who you are.  Feel your feet come alive with this connection. Feel this life energy move through you and in you. Feel the grounded potential in you be activated with each conscious step on the earth.  Lie down and bask in the sun, supported by the Earth. Let it soak into your very bones.

This might be a bit chilly in Winter ( though don’t let that stop you) and even in summer.

For those times when this is not practical as a warming alternative I like to:

2-Drink Nettle tea

Whilst pregnant with my second I felt I needed a boost and asked inside what could I do? I got a picture of a nettle leaf. To my delight with the help of trusty old Google I discovered that nettle tea was perfect for women and particularly pregnant woman and something of a superfood plant. They are also growing in my deliberately wild garden. (Tip: If you have a garden have a look around and see what you have growing that you can make tea with. the herbs and plants that grow naturally or you have chosen to grow are potent medicine for you.) My eldest is now also a big fan.  As I sip the tea I can taste the earth energy and feel all those nutrients entering my body. I love nettle tea. If you don’t fancy braving the stings or don’t have them in your garden you can buy it readymade pretty much anywhere. If nettle tea is not to your taste try another herbal drink.  Or plain old water. For once again intention and animation are key here. You have an intention to get more grounded. What does your body desire? What do you love to drink? Choose what arises in this moment. Take it outside if you can and stand on the earth. But even if this is not possible drink it with the intent of grounding and savour each sip. Take those moments of slowness to really imbibe the essence of your chosen drink and connect to the energy of the earth that was a part of its creation.

When I can’t get outside with the real trees I like to:

3-Tap my tree.

 Travelling in Thailand and getting up early one morning I found the park literally full of people rhythmically tapping each part of their body awake. I was fascinated and tried it out myself despite feeling a bit silly. I have since experienced it as a partner exercise in a couple of different seminars back home too. I also dimly remember dance lessons in primary school where we had to pretend to be a tree…

So here is my take on all that.

With a partner you stand and imagine that you are a tree. Visualise the roots going down into the ground and feel the earth energy rising up your roots and grounding you. Feel that energy rising up your body/trunk and out through your arms and head as the branches. You may sway and flow with the energy. Meanwhile your partner taps with loving intent on your feet. They can then move up your legs and torso, and head and arms and back down to your feet. Finish with your feet. If you have knowledge of EFT tapping points you can include those. Again get creative. Combine this with affirmations, singing, sighing, whatever the practice moves you to do.

Don’t have a partner or your children don’t want to play this game, you can do it alone. Follow the suggested visualisation and do your own tapping.

When despite all these ideas I keep forgetting to ground myself I like to:

4-Invite some Red into my life.

Red: The colour of our blood, the life force energy flowing through our veins day and night. A powerful colour, strong bold and courageous. It is also the colour of the base chakra and is a grounding vibration that can support us to be more grounded if we let it. Try:

• Wearing red, especially if you don’t usually. Perhaps you have some shoes, or a scarf or a t shirt. Have a dig around your wardrobe or your friends! and play.
• Alternatively get out the paints and colouring pencils and make some colour. Don’t worry about being the next Picasso, who once said of an exhibition of children’s art ‘When I was their age I could draw like Raphael but it has taken me a whole lifetime to learn to draw like them.’ *³ Start from his end point and play like a child with their innocence and wonder. See what comes out of your play and display it proudly. Each time you see your picture you can use this as a signal to take a moment to consciously ground yourself. A moment of awareness is all it takes to get back on track.
• Notice all the areas of red in your home and garden and as you go about your day. Each time you notice red take a breath in with the intent to ground yourself. You may be surprised just how often you are able to remind yourself to be grounded and how much fun you can have. ( particularly if you have older children and make this a game for them too.)
• Buy some flowers for your home or a red plant for the garden.
• Write an affirmation in bold red and pin it up prominently with a red ribbon.

When all else fails and I feel overwhelmed and exhausted I like to:

5-Take a bath

This may seem an odd one to include in a list of grounding activities but bear with me. Yes water is more about fluidity than the solidity of grounding but when you are tired and other grounding activities feel impossibly active then you can slide into a bath and let go into the soothing embrace of warm water. As the warmth penetrates deeply into your tired muscles and you let your tiredness ooze out into the bath water you can switch off from your surroundings and let your awareness wander with the water.  All things have their own consciousness and memory, water is no exception. You can follow the energy of the water right back to its origin in nature as a  pure mountain spring bubbling out of the earth, tinkling music to your ears as it ripples through pebbles. Imagine you are that stream of fluidity and feel the earth that you flow over and through supporting you as you sit in the bath. Invite that earthy grounding energy to permeate the water and then soak into your body which is itself largely water. Let your imagination run as you flow over boulders through forests out into the sea. Feel the energy of the earth that lies under the water that covers much of the planet. Breathe gently and infuse your spirit with this earth magic as you rest in your bath.

So this is my take on getting grounded. How about you? I would love to hear from you.

Choose one of the above activities, have a play and then drop me a line about your experience.

Or Inspire me with your own ideas. How do you get grounded when you feel spacy and floating? 

*¹ Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters ( Discworld Novel 6) 1988

*²Thich Nhat hanh, You Are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment. Shambhala Publications Inc. 2001

*³Twyla Tharp, The Creative habit: Learn it and use it for life. A Practical Guide. Simon and Schuster Paperbacks. 2003 (page 163)

In Part 1 I spoke of my journey from unreadiness to readiness, from worry to inner calm, and from obsession over my long, long list of ‘absolute essentials’ to complete before birth should happen, to no worry and no list.

I spoke of my growing ability to rest, relax and allow readiness to be.

I spoke of learning surrender to the unknown and trust as I birthed my child and dropping my to do lists in favour of actually doing, with ease and flow.

In part 2 I am sharing with you how I made this significant transition with relative ease using NPA, a tool I also use in my 1:1 sessions to facilitate powerful transformation. The shift that evening from feeling distinctly NOT ready and worried about how to get everything sorted in time, to going into labour and giving birth from a place of being ready was almost instantaneous, quite surprising and has had long lasting deepening effects on me and my ability to take action.

NPA stands for Non Personal Awareness, a deceptively simple yet enormously effective tool that brings you into harmony and flow with what truly matters to you. It is a short six line process that effortlessly aligns the energy of your experience, releasing blocks and stuckness and allowing into your experience that which you’ve been keeping at bay. Alternatively as Joel Young, the creator and custodian of NPA, taught it to me, “letting the yucky stuff out and letting the yummy stuff in.” He describes non personal awareness as a living, breathing perspective says,

“The NPA process is a simple way to invite it into your life, engage with the freedom it brings and begin sustainable change for a better life experience.”

For those intrigued and eager to try it out click  here to read more about NPA and download a free worksheet. For those remaining keep reading to discover some of the possibilities of NPA in action with my story of clearing needless worry about being ready and another glimpse into some of the intimate details of the birth of my second child.

On the evening in question having cleaned the bathroom, (Job 1 on the endless list of essential preparations according to the worried, time pressured and desperately nesting version of me.) I’d settled in to a conference call evening of NPA sharing with the NPA Community. The Theme that evening was birth!

Little did I know that barely four hours later I’d be holding my second child in my arms in awe and wonder in that very same bathroom.

During the call I spent an enjoyable hour bringing in the energies of confidence and trust. Throughout my pregnancy these two themes were pretty constant companions and the focus of much of the inner clearing work I was doing to prepare for the arrival of my child. By the night of the 24th June I was feeling confident in my body, I trusted my ability to birth. I had negotiated numerous hurdles and challenges along the way that had all served to help me to consciously choose the circumstances of my birth from an empowered grounded inner strength and to trust in these decisions.

Yet I still wasn’t fully relaxed and enjoying that in-between time of a fully formed baby inside an expectant mother enjoying the last twilight hours of their shared physical existence before the next chapter begins. I was aware of a persistent niggling worry about what I still had to do in order to be ready. Accompanied by an equally insistent murmur in the recesses of my mind about the potential pitfalls of not knowing my midwife. These unhelpful thoughts battled with the deeper sense of trust and confidence I felt when I tuned in. Try as I might, I couldn’t banish them completely and I was restless. I was worried about unknown factors I couldn’t fathom or plan for by their very nebulous unfounded nature, even as I was aware of trust in the universe and in my body.

This background noise and tension was not so loud but was real nonetheless and resided just under the surface of my day to day awareness. I had been doing what most of us have a tendency to do from time to time, pushing it to one side and ignoring it, telling myself I was being daft. As usual the universe had my back and was bringing me answers to my deep prayers almost before I was aware of what I needed.

In this case it brought me help in the form of two NPA ‘cookie cutters’ borrowed from a friend. That’s right, they weren’t even mine initially. Another thing I have learnt. I don’t have to be the one to know or come up with all the answers. The answers will come and will be available if I am listening and remain open. Back to the current story though. As I heard my friend share her experience with the energy of ‘The Unknown’ and ‘Being Ready’ I knew with a strong intuitive hit in my gut that these were ‘mine’ too.

I put the phone down and took both phrases through the NPA words.

First up ‘The Unknown.’

All my fears about not knowing which midwife would be on duty and that something untoward may occur and endanger my birth choices surfaced. Crazy thoughts that giving birth the first time was just a fluke and I would totally fail at it this time. Panic and terror at not knowing what was coming next and whether I could handle it overwhelmed me.

I sat still.

I felt it would last forever. I nearly despaired.

I sat still some more.

It passed.

All the fears melted away into a mist of unnecessary unknowables.

I smiled as joy bubbled through the mist. I relaxed as inner peace dispersed the mist. I was at peace with not knowing, not knowing what would happen in my birth experience, when it would start, who would be there, content to wait out the future. It had been perhaps 5 minutes but it could have been hours or a lifetime. I didn’t care.

This shift is simple to write in just a few line. Easy to read fast, gloss over and keep reading. I invite you to read it again and let it sink in. Imagine how it would feel to be living with fear as the backdrop and then imagine the contrast of living from a peaceful place. Really, I invite you to take some time to appreciate the depth of this through my words as I can’t begin to do justice with how transformative for me this change in perspective was at this time. This kind of shift has been my repeated experience with taking time to do inner work with tools such as NPA.

With a greater sense of ease in myself I moved onto NPA cookie cutter number 2 ‘Being Ready.’ This was quieter and more subtle yet with immediate measurable effect.

I stopped thinking about the list.

It was not today’s concern.

I smiled as I again naturally became aware of the inner strength and joy at my core and in my womb. I opened my eyes and felt my uterus contract…

This was totally unexpected.

Ironic really. I know how effective this tool is. It was a cookie cutter on ‘being ready’ right?

So I shift into a place of being ready and what happens? Yes, straight into labour.

I was ready.

I tried to tell myself it might be Braxton Hicks and it might stop and start and I had a few days or even weeks left yet.

But no, my body knew differently.

Just four hours later my baby popped out (quite literally with a popping sound and a big splash!) into my waiting hands, slippery and warm to my fingers, crying already as I brought him in close to my heart. Quickly soothed by enthusiastic suckling, we gazed at each other. My delighted and euphoric laughter echoed round the bathroom as my husband stared in astonishment. ( He thought I needed water or something when I shouted for him to come.)

Very shortly, I was ready again; this time for some well deserved rest as I dropped off to sleep cradling my newborn in a warm cosy after-birth glow, deeply satisfied and powerfully transformed by the surprising turn of events that evening.

Further information about Joel Young  NPA can be found here. 

Click here to download The NPA Process Sheet for FREE and see for yourself what is possible.

The links in this article for Joel Young are affiliate links.  The NPA technique is so powerful and deserves to be more widely known and used.

For assistance on your own journey to birth with confidence and trust click here to learn about working with me in BirthEssence Mother Nurture 1:1 sessions.

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