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Still have pain and grief around a miscarriage? Try this compassion exercise.

I was so touched by the personal messages of thanks that many of you posted in response to my last blog post (about my recent miscarriage and my journey through grief.) I was nervous before posting such a personal post but felt that sharing my story may help others because miscarriage is so common. I hardly know anyone with children who has not experienced at least one, and if they haven’t, someone close to them has.

Common it is, yet it can nevertheless be a devastating experience and one that is not talked about so much.  People can feel uncomfortable, wanting to offer support but not knowing what to say. Sometimes the wrong thing gets said. We may hear statements like, 'at least it happened early, you will be ok, you can try again and have another.' We may take longer to recover than those around us expect.  We may not even have told anyone we were pregnant and so people and employers may not realise what we are going through.

And when we don’t have a chance to voice and release our pain and disappointment it can linger. It can be stored in our bodies and affect future pregnancies. We can carry those fears of loss right through as we prepare to welcome a new baby. A new baby learning about the world they are coming to through immersion in our inner-world and learning about the world they are coming to.  Growing in an atmosphere of fear and grief is not what we want for the souls we wish to welcome to the world.

So today I am offering something a little different from my normal posts. A short compassion exercise using one of my healing tools called The Compassion Key. This exercise is for you if you are going through or  have ever experienced a miscarriage and are still experiencing sadness and grief even many years later.

Compassion Exercise Instructions.

Make yourself comfortable and place your feet on the floor. You can be either seated with your back straight or standing, whichever feels best to you. Take a few deep breaths into your belly and let your focus drop down into your heart and solar plexus area. Imagine sending a bright beam of loving compassion inwards to your own heart and womb as you repeat the following phrases out loud.

Pause slightly after each phrase and allow any feelings to rise and pass through then move onto the next. Some may feel stronger than others, some may not feel so true for you but this is ok. The loving compassion energy will dissolve what needs to be healed and pass through if it does not apply to you.

Are you ready? Here goes:

I am so sorry your baby died inside you.

I am so sorry your baby was only here for such a short time.

I am so sorry it wasn't their time.​

I am so sorry you miss them.

I am so sorry you didn’t want them to go.

I am so sorry you don’t know if you will see them again.

I am so sorry it hurts so much.

I am so sorry your grief is unbearable.

I am so sorry your grief is never-ending.

I am so sorry you worry it may have been your fault somehow.

I am so sorry you wonder if there was something you could have done differently.

I am so sorry you feel so alone.

I am so sorry no one understands how much pain you are in.

I am so sorry you can’t tell anyone.

I am so sorry you are taking a long time to heal.

I am so sorry you are sad.

I am so sorry you can’t move on.

I am so sorry you had to push your grief down to carry on.

I am so sorry you kept your sadness hidden inside.

I am so sorry you didn’t have time to grieve properly.

I am so sorry you had to be strong for your family.

Take a few more deep breaths and allow yourself to integrate the shifts. When you are ready feel your feet on the ground again, take a few sips of water and thank yourself for taking this time to support and nurture yourself.

So my lovely readers. How did you find this compassion exercise? I would love to hear from you about what challenges you face going through miscarriage and how this exercise has helped you.


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Charlotte Kanyi

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