Alexia Leachman – Birth Confidence Summit
Alexia Leachman Bio
Alexia is a mindset coach, an author and the host of the award-nominated podcasts Fear Free Childbirth and The Head Trash Show, which, together have been downloaded over 650,000 times in over 180 countries. Alexia overcame her extreme fears to have two fear-free home births and she now helps women to overcome their fears and anxieties so that they can approach their birth with confidence.
Alexia has helped thousands of women worldwide to lose the fear and claim their positive birth experience through her private sessions, her online programmes and products, and, of course, her podcast. She is the author of Fearless Birthing and Clear Your Head Trash.
Alexia appears regularly in the press, TV, radio and online including the BBC, SKY and ABC and has been featured in Huff Post, Mail Online, Psychologies, Red, Easy Living and Mother & Baby magazines.
The Fear Free Childbirth is an award-nominated podcast to help pregnant mamas prepare for a positive, fear-free childbirth experience. It’s a mix of positive birth stories, birth experts sharing their wisdom and Alexia sharing advice on mindset and tackling fears.
Despite her stress and grief Alexia was able to pull her fear clearance skills and as a coach together and changed her plan from c-section to a home birth. This led to changing career from working mostly with men to helping women to clear their fears of birth and a popular podcast.
Book fearless birthing and many products on website for all budgets
6.30 Women are not always speaking up as their fears get minimised. It is acceptable to say we are a bit worried and then put up with it.
9.42 Starting motherhood with a birth you enjoyed that you wanted even if it wasn’t the way you planned it sets you up in a good place for mother hood. Set yourself up for a great birth experience and stack the cards in your favour as birth can be a defining moment for you as a mother.
12.22 All about tokophobia- a pathological fear of birth and/ or pregnancy including primary and secondary tokophobia. Trauma is usually at the root of tokophobia even if you can't remember it.
14.00 Alexia's personal story of tokophobia including her fear of seeing bumps, fear of delivery and wanting to be knocked out. The impact on women who cannot release including multiple abortions of wanted babies and relationship breakdowns.
18.32 It is OK to be scared and OK to ask for help. Seek help now to give you enough time to process emotionally and know that the fears can be released and usually more quickly than you may think.
20.43 Should I wait until I am tryingfor a baby to clear my fears? You may hit fertility problems due to the fears , for example the stress may cause inflammation in your tubes. Living with fear on a daily basis which doesn’t feel nice so don’t wait.
22.51 Can't change the past but can change our relationship with the future. Phobias are defined as irrational but actually the reasons are rational to each woman and calling it irrational dismisses that woman's lived experience.
27.30 The Vision is to be in control of your destiny and the one making the decisions. Nonsense to eradicate like not supporting home birth ( Alexia has just moved to France and contrasts the two systems in UK and France)
Make a difference in schools, you can ask teachers what they teach about birth in schools.
34.00 Women who have babies early e.g. as teenagers are more likely to have a positive experience with zero preparation and no classes as they haven’t encountered all the negative narratives round birth.
Birth is different for everyone but we can change how we think about it as it changes the experience for us.
37.00 We are more than only the motherhood part and birth can enable a lot of the other parts to come out. Reclaim the value of mother as well as other roles in your life.
39.31 A simple place to start is to read positive stories and maybe watch good births on youtube. Caveat: Women with tokophobia can’t do that , this is too triggering. If this is you , you may need to start with therapeutic support.
42.23 Discussing all the ways women get undermined including feeling vulnerable, listening to doubts from others and not knowing that you can put your foot down and you do the allowing. Getting clear on what you want in time to set in place especially in the US. Make your decisions from an informed place.
47.00 You can sail through obstacles if you are getting the right support There are groups out there if the one you are in is not supportive find one that is. E.g. fb forums and local groups
50.00 Know that you have everything in you to have this birth even if you cannot access it straight away. Self trust is not easy to learn but you can learn it and birth can help you learn to trust your body. It is all within.